Takeaways from the Know Your Child(KYC) Workshop

Recently, I attended a KYC Workshop, organized under the aegis of Art of Living. Since the workshop gave me some new perspectives and insights, I thought that I should share these with parents.

As we all know, parenting has never been easy – in fact, it is one of the most challenging  jobs in the world. This workshop taught me, how we as parents, can lighten this load and make this daily chore, the most enjoyable, creative and fun part of our lives.

These concepts and techniques are so powerful, that I knew, I had to share this with my readers. These, esp. apply to parents, who have children up to the age of 12  i.e. pre-teens(though not all-inclusive). This is an age group where the foundations are laid and that which actually determines, how your kids life shapes up. In short, the clay is ready to be moulded and given the best and ideal shape.

All parents were asked to come up with a list of problems they faced daily while raising their kids. We had a lot of proactive parents among the audience and these are some of the problems they faced:

1. Restlessness  2. Anger  3. Lack of Concentration  4. Laziness   5. Wrong Food Habits  6. Lying  7.Excessive TV Watching  8. Non-Sharing  9. Sibling Rivalry  10. Fear and …….quite a few others.

Our attention was drawn towards some of the  characteristics of children, which we so often miss to notice. These are:

• Children always make themselves feel Comfortable in any Environment or Situation…..unlike Adults.
• Children are the Most Happiest by their Nature.
• Children are the Most Intelligent …though we often underestimate their Intelligence.
• Whatever Children do, there is always a Logic behind it….not necessarily an adults logic, but strong enough to make one think differently,creatively and away from routine thinking.
• Children by nature are Daring….Fear seeps in them from their immediate environment(often reinforced again and again….most of the time by parents themselves).

Parents need to educate their children without putting fear in their minds…..

……..and Do you know, what makes all these characteristics come alive?? …..thats because…….

“Children Always Live in the Present Moment”

We were told about 3 F’s while dealing with kids:

1. Firmness (in your approach towards them)
2. Fairness (in your dealing…remember no different rule-sets for them vis-a-vis siblings/peers/yourself)
3. Fun (make the entire process)

………now, for some small but significant piece of statistics. Do you know how many “DON’Ts” (Don’t do this/Don’t do that) does a child hear everyday?……any guesses……

I am told, a whooping 625 times in a day  , thats, 625 X 365 = 228,125 per year multiplied by your child’s age.

An interesting thing came up during a discussion. “Kids love both parents…but more towards a parent(mom/dad) who says “NO” less often…….any wonder your child prefers cozying up to a friendly(or is it ever-obliging?) aunt or uncle most of the time? Sadly, these strings of “Dont’s” sometimes contributes in making the child an Introvert. Some of the other ‘symptoms’ of these constant don’ts are that a child will completely stop listening to you, he may back answer, get adamant, he may stop sharing -thoughts/ideas- and ultimately his communication skills may take a dip.

………the Secret to reverse this “trend” is  to creatively convert your “Don’t Do” lists into “Can this be Done instead?” list. You need to work on your conversion list guys esp. mothers who complain that all day long, kids cling to them and as soon as ‘papa dearest’ comes back home from work…they forget their mum.

We were given a 5-point formula, which I shall touch upon briefly (You need to be there to absorb and understand these Gems)

1. Positive – Be Positive under all situations – this needs a Daily Conscious effort and becomes a Habit with Practice. Easier said than Done, but worth all the efforts put in.
2. Exercise – Children are more energetic than Adults, simply because they use 90% of their lung capacity, compared to 30-40% used by adults. When this energy is not channelised properly, all the problems listed in the beginning of this post, starts to appear, esp. Restlessness and Laziness(which is another form of Restlessness). Children are more aligned with nature. This can be seen in their food habits – they eat only when they need and in whatever quantity they need to eat. Exercise is a great channeliser of Energy, but remember – you have to not only initiate it….but also do it along with them…Children don’t just like to take instructions…you know
3. Ask Questions – (This point really hit the nail on the head for me – an “Aha” moment) – I was plain shocked to learn that, answering or avoiding their Queries (read curiosities)is really harmful for them. Avoiding is understood, but Answering??? – Bam!!! — that hit me real hard  I came to know that by answering his/her queries every time, you satisfy their curiosity, but put the lid on any further probing or alternate thinking. In fact, you should ask them a counter-question: “What do you think…..?” Doing so leads to the following: a)You give back his/her Learning Responsibility b)You encourage Independent Thinking c) You equip your child to think clearly – both towards the positive and negative  and finally the big,big bonus d)You get an opportunity to peep into their mind – if s/he is really Imaginative-…….as Albert Einstein rightly said “IMAGINATION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EDUCATION”.
4. Creative – Encourage Creativity in them. We did a nice exercise to prove this point. Art is an expression of Creativity and Creativity comes from randomness…..a scribble on a piece of paper or wall…would be just that….a scribble for you…..but for your child…..nothing less than a Master-Piece…..think about it.
5. Ears – If there is anything your child desperately craves for- then it is your “Ears”…he wants you to listen to him…truly listen to him….put everything aside…..be with them….their talk may set you thinking and challenge you.

In Conclusion: I may have missed certain things intentionally or unintentionally. I haven’t included the fun/insightful exercises that we were asked to do. The Proof of the Pudding is in the Eating, isn’t it? I highly recommend you to inquire and sign-up for the workshop at your local chapters. The workshop I attended was beautifully designed and presented by an Art of Living teacher couple. I am sure it will bring some “Aha” and “Wow” moments for you too.

If you liked reading this post and found Value in it, then I strongly urge you to pass on the link or information to your friends, who might benefit from it. And yes…as usual…do leave your comments below….I would love to hear from you.